About My Dad

Christy Oliver Reeves (daughter)

I want to thank everyone for coming this morning.  My name is Christy Oliver Reeves and we’re here to celebrate the life of my father, William Achel Oliver.  For those of you who aren’t members of Bill’s family, you might not realize he was our family eulogist.  Over the years, when we lose a loved one it is my father who traditionally delivers the tribute at the service – a job he takes very seriously. 

See, the words of a eulogy are very important to dad because this is the story of that person’s life – how they really lived, loved, and served.  But also how they were loved. He spends time talking to people about them and including others, because he wants to make sure the person’s essence is truly showcased and allows family and friends the ability to mourn through laughter and tears. 

The last eulogy he performed was in November 2017 for my sweet uncle Jim, dad’s brother-in-law.  And, he and I worked on that one together.  Thinking, talking, interviewing, rewriting, editing… repeat.  Perhaps he was guiding me through his process so I’d be equipped to stand here today before you to share his story.  I asked him once what he’d like said at his eulogy, he laughed.  “Well, I know how I’d start it…. I sure wish I was there with you today to deliver this.”

Dad’s meticulous and thoughtful approach to eulogies was an illustration of how he felt about people.  This isn’t a one size fits all approach and there is no template to use.  People are precious.  Life is precious.  Everyone has a story worth sharing. 

Dad could relate to people from all walks of life.  He was an empathetic man.  He valued character over pedigree.  And he was no cynic.  He looked for the good in each person – and usually found it. 

And my dad, Bill Oliver, was a great storyteller. Dad had a unique and powerful approach to telling a story. He was authentic, passionate, and never took himself too seriously, as evident by his extensive collection of flair hair hats.  And, his stories spawn from a vast array of life experiences. A life that began years before in a place called Rose Bud, Arkansas.  

Now, if you say the word “Rosebud” to people, many Americans would think of those famous cryptic words from the 1941 movie Citizen Kane. In fact, it wasn’t until I was taking a film class in college with my cousin Kevin that we realized that Rosebud was not actually a reference to Rose Bud, Arkansas.

Dad referenced Rose Bud so much that I just figured it was the one and only Rose Bud. And just to give you a little perspective…the census of 2000 reports only 429 people residing in the town. So, you can imagine what it was like when he was a kid there in the late 1940s. Three words: No indoor plumbing!

For those of you who haven’t understood my dad’s desire for high class bathrooms and showers at both the Scouting Camps and the MANY he’s added to his own homes throughout the years, this is the reason.

As the son of poor cotton farmers, Dad established his work ethic early on… working hard to assist the family picking cotton before the age of 5. Times were tough, though.  Not a lot of work and his father, Achel, had found good work in Lake Charles and was relocating the family.  Dad’s mother, Ruby, was getting Bill and his older sister Sue ready for the move. 

They had been selling household items and preparing for the big change when a housefire took everything, including all the money that was left on top of the refrigerator.  A devastating experience for my 5 year old father.  – we will come back to this.

In Lake Charles, Dad immediately integrated himself into the community through participation his local church, Church of Christ, and the local cub scouts. In 1956, he joined them at Henry Heights Elementary School (participating as a wolf, bear, lion, and webelos). He became a boy scout in 1959 and instantly developed a love for woodworking (which I’d like to personally thank the Scouts for as he’s been building things – like treehouses and bookshelves – my entire life).

He loved being a Cub Scout, going to Den and Pack meetings, achieving badges and arrow points, serving in Leadership.  He use to tell me the story of the euphoric day when his mom took him to Mullers in downtown Lake Charles to buy his scouting uniform.  I think he even slept in it that night.  He sure wore it with pride.  

He loved the camping times at Camp Edgewood, and still holds the record for the one mile swim there – 2 hours and 4 minutes! He was the first and only guy to have floated the entire mile.  He claims he set an endurance record and no one has ever taken longer.

And, as I mentioned, he’s quite a storyteller. I know you won’t be surprised to learn that he performed the first stand up comedy routine at the Thursday family night campfire with the lake behind him… All those scouts sitting on those logs looking to be entertained and he got to tell ‘em about “Herman the Worm!”

I don’t even know what that was but according to dad, he nailed it.  And everyone in scouting thought it was to earn his public speaking merit badge, but it was purely stand-up comedy to him. 

Dad’s older sister Sue claims that dad was always in the middle of whatever was going on – whether it be the scouts, hanging with the neighborhood kids, whatever… Dad was making things happen, and was often times surrounded by an entourage. Sue might suggest that Dad’s entourage in many cases became his associates. Dad was a natural born leader and he could see potential and opportunity everywhere.

He saw opportunity in the land they still owned in Arkansas, having ongoing conversations with older sister Sue about the 80 acres.  Now 10, dad had decided that they’d split it and he was conjuring up ideas of how to use the money …

when they got the news that another child was on the way.  Guess that messed up dad’s cut.  Bill wanted a brother.  Sue wanted a sister.  And, of course, dad won.  Kenny came along. 

Dad wasn’t the best in school.  Not that he wasn’t smart.  He was just distracted.  Sue remembers one time her mother Ruby pleading with him.  “Bill, please can you just make a D?”  But, Kenny wasn’t like that and dad was inspired by his younger brothers focus and commitment to his studies. 

Dad’s focus was more on play and work. Even from his earliest memories he always worked. Driving a tractor at age four for his Dad while he was harvesting corn, to picking cotton on their farm at age 5.

He had a paper route in high school, was a sports reporter in high school and college, worked as a policeman for the port in Lake Charles, was a longshoreman, even worked in a flower shop, amongst many other ventures.

Dad was an innovative kid, and always looked for ways to get the edge on the competition. By middle school, he had mastered the paper route business… hiring an employee to do the delivery work so he could concentrate on “other projects.”  I specifically remember another story of a time when he and my Uncle Jim were paid to count cars that passed an intersection (though the story goes that Jim counted the cars while Dad napped). 

Dad had an outstanding ability to recruit people, identify their talents, and mobilize them into action.  Dad has always been able to catalyze connections and build relationships. 

During college, Dad initially joined the Army to keep from getting drafted and was involved with the ROTC at McNeese State University, graduating as a Distinguished Military graduate.  Dad served 21 years in the U.S. Army Reserve as an officer, retiring in 1991 with the rank of Major. Dad’s leadership role in the military gave him the opportunity to greatly influence the lives of many young men and women, and be influenced.   But it also provided for fun family summer trips. 

Every summer when he was stationed away, we’d join him.  Some of my favorite childhood memories are the family taking off in our big van for an 18 hour road trip to Virginia. 

While dad was busy in the day, mom would take us to explore the region – visiting the homes of past Presidents, seeing Amish Country, or sometimes we’d just hang out at the pool.  There were a couple of years where dad scored us a room so close to the pool that mom could literally watch us swim through the window from the comfort of her air conditioned room.  I loved how these trips broadened my perspective, and I fell in love with traveling then. 

When he got out of the Army, he went to work for Procter and Gamble for two years selling soap. He then went to work for South Central Bell in 1973, starting a 37 year career. He applied for a job at an employment office on Wooddale Boulevard in Baton Rouge. Suffice it to say he wasn’t going in on a fast paced executive hire program. He started as an Assistant Engineer.

He quickly became involved in the world of digital communications responsible for the placement of equipment in telephone company central offices. It was a world that many old line telephone folks didn’t know a whole lot about.  He became a planning engineer and then a manager in the engineering organization. He clearly had a secure path and career in engineering. 

But then in 1984, he was sent to meet with the head of the marketing organization. The phone company was just starting to sell digital services to businesses. Up until then, it only provided digital within the telephone company’s network. They only needed someone to work with the marketing folks to educate and provide assistants on sales calls. They certainly weren’t looking for a sales person from engineering.  But it was a new world. The sales folks really didn’t understand digital services or fiber or the customer equipment. For that matter, it was all new to customers too.

For an old sales guy, a soap salesman that had trained under one of the best organizations, P&G, it was a world of opportunity.  He also minimized some very complex customer situations that had top management really squirming. And, he worked for a guy that was amazed that an engineer could sell, understand organizational management and personnel administration.

Remember that Military, Army Reserve experience! He always said it was a wonderful training program full of all things organizational with lots of personnel experiences.

In 1987, at the age of only 40, Dad was selected to be the lead person to provide the telecommunications services for the Republican National Convention in New Orleans.

He was the planner, the salesperson, the customer relations person and eventually the billing and collection person for the major customers.  Probably the greatest gift was the Democratic Convention was in Atlanta that year and there was lots of opportunity for higher management to compare the progress, costs and results between two organizations. And the Louisiana efforts really stood out.  He always said that it was a career defining event! 

But it was a personal, family event as well. Mom worked for George Bush. Jane and I worked for the major news media. Lisa suggested the logo that South Central Bell used for the convention that was eventually stolen by the Bush campaign for a campaign logo pin.  And even my cousin David, only 15, moved from Lake Charles to our home in Metairie to work that summer in the mailroom. 

It is impossible to speak of my father without also speaking of my mother, because they were one.  They have both been incredible role models to me and my sisters Jane and Lisa and my brother Michael. 

He met mom in College.  It was at the registration desk at McNeese State College…. And he immediately asked her to marry him.  To his surprise, she replied yes and they married within a year.  Last July they celebrated 50 years together.

Dad married his sweetheart.  He adored her.  He laughed with her and was dedicated to her.  But Carolyn was good for him and made a huge difference in the man Bill became.  She strengthened him and focused him. 

And as dedicated as my dad was to his work life, he was always present with us… making pancakes or grilling cheese sandwiches or BLTs … dad loved to pull out his griddle (he always had one).  He took his griddle seriously.  His current commercial griddle actually says “not for home use” – but that doesn’t apply to him. 

When I was little, I remember dad lining his three girls up on the bar stool to brush our long hair and serving as a Den Mother for Michael’s scouts troop.  He loved his time with us and each one of us thought we were his favorite.  He did the dishes, helped around the house, was part of everything.  He didn’t see chores as chores.  He saw them as part of life and got it done.

I have never heard my father talk about being tired or exhausted.  He thought exhaustion was a mental state.  And that wasn’t his. 

Mom and Dad had wonderful adventures together.  Traveling, entertaining, and raising four incredibly talented children.  I remember for their 40^th anniversary, dad told me he sent Mom 32 roses.  “32?” I asked.  “One for all the good years,” he replied.  You know, 8 bad years out of 40 doesn’t seem too bad.  And, it’s true.  There were some tough ones. 

In 1989 dad was diagnosed with cancer.  He had a large sarcoma tumor in his leg.  He immediately started treatment at MD Anderson. Even this past week, dad and I talked about this experience.  He really never thought he was going to survive that.  But how do you not try, he would tell me?  The chemotherapy was hard on him and his body became frail.  He lost his thick, beautiful head of hair, 40 pounds, and even his ability to speak.  On the outside he looked deathly, but on the inside he was still sharp.  He also told me the story of being so sick in the hospital and his mother coming to visit. 

Thinking this might be the last time he would ever see her, he wanted to thank her and show his appreciation for all she had done for him.  He talked about the house fire in Arkansas when he was 5 and how hard that must have been to lose everything and that for these last 40 years he just kept thinking about that.  They had lost it all and had nothing and had to completely relocate and yet still managed to do so much for their three kids.  He was in awe.  Ruby looked perplexed.  “Bill, what are you talking about?”  He said, “the fire, mom.  You lost the money and we had nothing.”  She said, “Bill, we already had nothing!!  We had no indoor plumbing, little electricity.  And that money that burned… why most of that was checks and everyone just wrote us another.  We ended up with even more money.  We moved to Louisiana and we had bathrooms and electricity and I thought we had gone to heaven!!”  I’m glad my grandmother was able to finally lift this heavy burden off of him.  Dad survived the cancer, chemo and radiation and life continued. 

He finished his executive MBA from Tulane, which he had been doing throughout that and continued to grow within BellSouth.  But in 1993, just months after my older sister Jane graduated from college, she had a car accident.  The injuries sustained ended up being far worse than any of us first imagined and took her from us only 6 days later…. Just 11 days before Christmas. 

These experiences were hard but I never saw dad give up.  He was always busy, a man in constant motion.  And these challenges never diminished his love for life.

Dad continued growing with BellSouth – In 1994, he was promoted to Vice President – working on telecommunications legislation, shaping the 911 system, working with the public service commission.  Everything he did, he did well. 

Later in 2001, Dad was promoted to the position of State President of BellSouth for Louisiana. A position he proudly held until he retired in December 2009.

During his time as President, Dad was asked to serve as the King of Washington Mardi Gras.  It was an experience of a lifetime and he soaked in every minute of it.  And for him, it wasn’t just his experience. He brought the entire family in for the ride.  He had all of us join him for the event – he wanted Sue and Kenny there with their families with him.  He just wanted everyone to be part of it.  And, we were.  Later, dad’s nieces Kathryn and Claire would go on to be Princesses and so did his grand daughter Ellen.  Dad told me this weekend that one of the greatest moments of his life was walking Ellen in as a Princess.  He talked about the pride and joy it brought him.

See, dad lived for the moment.  Being the son of dirt farmers gave him such an appreciation for special moments of life.  He had such a joy about him and it was contagious.       

Dad taught me and my siblings that public service is noble and necessary.  He committed himself to a tremendous amount of community service work, especially after 1994. His kids were grown and there was more time. United Way, Boy Scouts, Committee of 100, PAR, and many more. At one time he was on 27 different boards in both the New Orleans area and across the state.  One of the best was on the Ochsner Board. In 2010, after he retired, they asked him to do some government relations and philanthropy work. In the 9 years that he has been working with them, Ochsner has grown from 12,000 employees to over 26,000 today – due, in great part, to my father.  And, he often told me he couldn’t believe that he has been lucky enough to be part of such a great organization.

From the young boy in the Arkansas cotton field to the King of Washington Mardi Gras, Dad has assembled a portfolio of more than just some jobs, but of friendships and experiences that have impacted lives and strengthened communities.  In every professional situation, from picking cotton to delivering papers to the Army Reserves to leading telecommunications initiatives across the state of Louisiana, my father has always served as an inspiration to his peers and role model to others.   He is one of those rare individuals who builds and maintains relationships with people that last a lifetime. And, I know that it’s this — these friendships and relationships, not any particular accomplishment or his position within a company that brought him the most satisfaction in his life.  

Though I might argue now that grandchildren have brought him more.  They filled his cup over. 

Just last week we talked about each one of them.  He adored them all.  He was excited about how they were all having deep and meaningful experiences.  Ellen was the apple of his eye.  He loved that Ellen, age 23, is seeing the world, and broadening her horizon with a new school opportunity and work.   He was so impressed with Jonathan, only 15, spending this summer at Duke.  Dad had been sending Jonathan letters with cash.  He told me not to tell Carolyn he was sending way more than he told her.  Kyra, 16, was away in Paris for the month and immersing herself in French, and Lucy, 14, or “Caboose-y” as he loved to call her, the caboose of his grandchildren, had just returned from Europe, now leading her Varsity cheer squad in preparations for the fall. He was a proud Papa.  

His last days were on family.  The letters to Jonathan, calls with Ellen, preparing his home at the Lakehouse in Tennessee for Kyra and Lucy’s pending visit. 

Dad was born with two settings:  full throttle, then sleep. 

He taught us what it means to be a wonderful son, brother, father, papa, friend, colleague, boss, King…… and human. 

To us, he was perfect. 

It’s hard to cover 71 years of a “very good life” in this limited bit of time. 

He impacted so many. 

My entire life, people have told me how special he is and what an amazing father I had. 

Why, I even had an interview once where after they found out he was my dad they asked me more about him than me.  Can’t say I blame them.  He was a fascinating creature. 

In May I asked dad to come speak at a leadership class I was teaching.  He kindly agreed and left my students with a few thoughts, perhaps his credo for life. 

I will leave you now with those. 

• Good luck is not over rated.
• When good luck doesn’t appear to be present, figure out how to create it.
• Make your boss look good.
• Be a team player.
• Diversify yourself with education and experience.
• When the opportunity presents itself, seize the moment.
• Family is forever.