Ellen Marie Farmer (granddaughter)
I was recently told you should never speak in front of people without the word of God. Well, I didn’t expect to have the opportunity to do so, so quickly but I’d love to open up with some scripture.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.
Thank you all for coming today. There has been an overwhelming amount of love and support toward our family at this time. Despite the circumstances, it’s been really nice seeing all of you!
I know that all of you here know that Bill Oliver was one of the best, but I have to tell you, growing up with him as a grandfather was the greatest treasure. From the very first day of my life, he was my biggest supporter, my favorite secret keeper and the best teacher. He taught me how to whistle and how to swim. He taught me how to dress to impress and how to dress down and work outside. There was nothing that man couldn’t fix, and my Papa was never afraid to roll up his sleeves to get the job done. As a leader, I know much of his success came because of his work ethic and willingness to do the hard stuff, even when that wasn’t really in his job description.
I can’t help but thank him for giving me my love for entertaining. When I was a kid, I’d tell people “My Granny and Papa are the perfect match. My Granny is an incredible cook, and my Papa has incredibly hungry friends.” I loved going to their house for parties. Something special about growing up with Bill Oliver as your grandfather is that there was never a kid’s table. He and I spent countless nights laughing, mingling and time after time, I got to look up and watch him take genuine interest in each person we spoke to. He knew everyone’s name, occupation, and spouse and truly had a gift of making everyone feel just as important as the next person.
Anyone who knew him or even got a chance to be within a block of him, ran the risk of being blessed by his generosity. Game tickets, an extra fried turkey, he lived life abundantly and took others along for the ride. Mardi Gras, like every good south Louisianian, is my favorite holiday because it meant a week out of school and time with my Granny and Papa. If you were a part of their lives when they lived on 7th street, maybe my six year old memories are flawed, but to me Mardi Gras at their house was like our own carnival. There was food everywhere. Sodas were kept in ice chests that I could conveniently sneak out of my parents’ view…. And everyone was invited. That’s the man Bill Oliver was. A man that saw you in the streets and yelled with a smile “hey! Ya hungry?! Come on in!” That was the earliest lesson he taught me- There’s always a party and everyone should attend!
Most people who knew Bill Oliver know that he was kind. He was generous. He loved rum and coke, and he always had a Boudreaux and Thibodaux joke ready. But as a grandkid you also got to know how deeply he loved his family. My Papa would move the world for any one of us! And when he finished doing so he’d smile and say “Who loves ya?!”. Some things you might not know about my Papa is that he used to love bubble gum. He not only taught me how to blow my first bubble, but he also taught me how to blow a bubble inside of a bubble! He loved raw peanuts in the microwave, covered in butter and salt. He could carve a turkey like nobody’s business. He could tie a cherry stem with his tongue. He was impressively successful at the golfball and tee game and could actually do two at the same time. He would attend just about anything you invited him to, just because he knew it was important to you. He made his bed with zero imperfections. Every time he approached a red light, it would turn green before he could break. He made the best grilled cheese.
Some of the best advice he ever gave me was when I was in high school. He told me, “E, if you’re trying to please everybody at the same time you’re never going to be able to do it. But if you spend your time doing what makes you happy, the people that love you will be happy too.”
My Papa pretty much had two outfits. Either, you’d find him in a suit or you would find him in overalls and crocs, but neither outfit was complete without his flair hair visors. The summer of 2012 was the first time I remember him wearing one. We had a big Fourth of July party, in typical fashion. I thought, this hat was hilarious. He told me he liked them because it kept his head warm, especially in Granny’s cold house. Someone asked me that day if he had gotten plugs. They said, “Your grandfather’s hair is so thick!”
When I graduated from LSU, he hosted a big party at his house. I had lived with the same friends for four years, they had met my Papa several times. Well, they came up to me at the party and said “where did you get your bartender!? He is so fun!” I looked to the bar and said, “you mean my grandfather??” They said, “wow! We didn’t recognize him without his hair on.”
He’s the reason I always eat sunflower seeds on road trips. He’s the reason I drink my coffee black. He’s why I love Marty Robins and old Western movies. Even though he’d always fall asleep, I’d get to tell him how they ended. And, in my later years, he taught me a lot about wine. But out of all the incredible lessons I was able to learn from him in our 23 years together, the most important thing he left me with was his love for people. For Bill Oliver, no one mattered more or less than another. Even in his great success, he never looked down on anyone! He didn’t even have to know the person! If he got a phone call about a friend of a friend of a friend that he could help in any way, he was on it! A few months ago, he and I went to dinner, just the two of us. We talked for hours. I asked him, “Papa, besides the fact that Granny keeps renovating houses do you really like still working?” I’ll never forget his reply. He told me, he loves getting to see change. Getting to help people. Knowing he’s making a difference – large scale in expansion and on an individual basis when he makes one phone call that saves a person’s life. His generosity and kindness overflowed, and I cannot thank him enough for showing me how to live my life that way.
He was my duck hunting buddy and my golfing partner. He taught me how to drive and how cool you look when you know how to haul a trailer. I am thankful, we had many milestones together. He saw me graduate high school, was my biggest council in choosing where to go to college and what to study. He was always my first call in the biggest accomplishments and in my biggest failures. He saw me graduate college, and he was so proud of me when I got accepted into graduate school. Unfortunately, he will not be there for my next graduation, he’ll miss weddings, and he’ll never see his great grandchildren. But I’m counting on all of you here to keep him alive for me. Because there will come a day where there will be important people in my life that never got the chance to know him. And boy are they missing out! He was my best friend, my biggest fan and my closest confidant. I only hope to grow up to be the kind of person that touched as many people’s lives as he did. Thank you for being here today. Every person in this room has a Bill Oliver story. Remember it. Share it. Long live the king!
